I miss having time to write. Blerg.

Anyways check out this chap who does have time to write, the lucky ninkenpoop. He's amazing and also my best mate :-)

http://poetboywonder.wordpress.com/

Boobs

Just a quick update (because what else would I be doing up at 3 AM?!) on what I've been up to. First up something really exciting, seriously now, strap yourself in because this is amazing, the pub that I work at asked me to design their Christmas newsletter. If that isn't a sign that you've made it then I don't know what is. All the other Marstons pubs in the area are having a go (I've seen their efforts and all I'm saying is COMIC SANS GALORE) and some poor soul is going to judge who's best and the winner gets a whole fifty English pounds. I'm not expecting to win because the judge will know knob-all about design and will probably mark mine down because it doesn't have some wicked Christmas styled clip-art in it. Gutted. Anyway. Here's what I did, simple say what.


(As you can tell there's fack all going on at our pub so we had to flesh it out a tad and ew, I actually hate this now. Why did I use Georgia?)

In other exciting news, I have my first design job interview on Monday! To say I'm shitting a kitten would be the understatement of eternity. Strangely enough the job is Wigan hospital who are looking for an in-house designer, of sorts (think annual reports, information leaflets etc). So they gave the successful candidates (me, boojah) a small brief to do which we have to present on Monday. Hopefully I won't throw up because yeah, I hate doing that. Anyroad. The brief was on something I can't say I have much experience with...breastfeeding. Norm. All the content was given to us and we had to do something with it. Again, tres simples.


Back off to Dust on Tuesday, cannot ruddy wait.

Follow

Bonjour, I'm now on Tumblr. Follow me +here for daily updates.

Currently doing a placement with the lovely chaps at Dust, hopefully will have some collaborative images to upload soon.

That's all, folks.

P.S. - Look at this example of amazing typography I found in Blackburn. Beautiful, don't you agree?

When you work in a pub you hear people say the most stupidest shit in the whole world. Here's a sample of a few of my favourites.

SignaturesWillBeForged

Working on a piece for Dust which is part of their Signatures Will Be Forged project. Initial idea was to do something with my three Fs (family, friends, football) which basically rule my life (sad, I know). However, not much scope with just three letters and not that much you can actually do visually. Back when I was a third year (sob sob I miss it) I came up with a list of Life Instructions, I was just browsing through and something I wrote stuck out at me. "You can have your cake and eat it." Came up with two rough concepts based around this quote. 'ere have a gander.




I have to admit that the first one isn't at all my usual style and the more I look at it the more I don't like it, but eh, they're only rough. More coming soon.

I want to write but have zero inspiration. Nothing's really pissed me off or upset me enough to rant. Someone say something to wind me up. Go on, dare ya.

BRFC

Due to utter, utter, utter boredom I decided to try my hand at web design, this also gave me the excuse to mess about with the most important men in my life (BRFC). I am a complete novice and this probably shows but anywho, here's the rather cluttered original:


And here's my effort:


Going to fiddle with it a bit. Boredom is really shit.

Nostalgia

(Because I don't want to write/think about football, let's write/think about something else)

Nostalgia's a funny thing. I don't know if I'm just imagining things or if my generation actually are obsessed with it. Every time we're sat in the pub, especially with my mates from home, conversation always seems to crawl into it's tardis and travel back in time. Not that I think nostalgia should be shied away from because really, who doesn't enjoy alcohol fueled discussions about which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle was best (Leonardo obviously) or which high school teacher you fancied/despised (Mr Broderick/Ms Bestwick).

My circle of friends have all known each other for a good ten years, some even longer than that (I punched Jake in the face when I was seven) and I think we just like to cling on to the memories. Maybe it's because the past is certain and the future isn't. Talking about the previous makes us all feel a bit fuzzy and warm on the inside, (or maybe that's the beer?) but memory lies. Memory is whatever we want it to be. I think that maybe, when you leave teenage-dom, when you're seen as an actual adult, you feel the need for nostalgia. You finally feel "all grown up" and that you're now allowed to talk about the past with a glint in your eye and a knowing smile. Because the "old days" were so much better, weren't they? Actually no, in reality they probably weren't, it's that sneaky bugger nostalgia rearing his head again, he enjoys coddling you and telling you that, in the words of Slade, "the old songs were the best", so on and so forth. I can't believe I just quoted Slade, but I digress, my point is, I think us British have a sort of doomed attitude. We're always convinced everything is so awful nowadays and the past was a nice and happy place to be. Kids these days, they all have knives! Eee by 'eck I remember when a bag of salt 'n' vinegar was only 27p! Recession! Immigration! Terrorism! Yadda, yadda, yap, yap!

Just stop. Life really isn't that bad and back then, life really wasn't that good either. Yes, things change, but so do people. We adapt and just carry on living. Bad will always happen and believe it or not, so will good. Don't forget to remember that.

...bloody hell

I GOT A 2:1. OH HAPPY DAYS!

Why I'm Scared of Design Reason #1239328

Right. Wrong. They don't exist in this world of kerning and text alignment. Instead there's a non-existant list of imaginary ideals we adhere to. It's frightening. Why? Because everything is dependant on the eye and not the brain. (Obviously we don't discount Mr Brain entirely, he has his place in the creative process, I just think Mr Eye is higher up the metaphorical food chain) There is no right answer, there is no wrong answer, there is only simply what looks right and what looks wrong and well, if you don't know the difference, you're pretty much fucked. If you told me this doesn't scare you, I'd tell you that you were lying. Right and wrong make the world go around and when you're stuck in Purgatory, it's a little mind boggling. Maybe that's exactly what design is; Purgatory. It lounges in the middle as it waits for it's inhabitants to make up their creative little minds. But perhaps it's just me, I've always been one who likes things black and white, you're either right or you're wrong and that's it. I don't like middle ground and I don't like sitting on the fence so to be in a place where the answers aren't so easily defined, yes, it's a tad frightening. Someone hold me.

Dumb

In relation to my previous post, I think they should show this advert to any male aged over 18 who still uses Lynx.



(Also, Ben Reed has a perfect face/everything)

WakeUp&SmellTheMisogyny

"Because girls like you to remember things...like their names. Wake up and stay alert." - Lynx print ad 2010
(Image credit: http://www.feministing.com/archives/021341.html)

Ah, the sweet smell of misogyny, how you warm my feminist cockles on your ever so manly open fire.

Believe it or not, Feminism really isn't my thing, (yes it gave us the vote and (more) equal rights, but it also gave us the impression that those naughty things with penis' are trying to keep us sistas down and that's just silly) I believe Feminism can be as damaging as misogyny if utilised incorrectly. Case in point, this highly intellectual piece of print advertising for Lynx aka the essence of boyhood puberty (because really, what self respecting man actually wears Lynx deodorant? Anybody? No? Good).

The chaps (I assume they're chaps?) behind this ingenious print ad obviously know who their target audience are, (teenage virgins) and for that I'll give them an ounce of credit, but for that only. These guys are incredibly lazy and that just pisses me off. How long do you think it took them to come up with this concept? Ten minutes or so? I mean, how much will these spanners be getting paid to come up with a "creative" solution to sell Lynx? A shitload more than the average worker is my guess. Advertising should be witty, it should be well thought out and, well, y'know, it shouldn't be sexist. Obviously they're not trying to appeal to the female population so it's ok to annoy the living shite out of us, isn't it? Aren't these ads as offensive to males as they are to the females? Don't they just assume that the most important thing in a man's life is shagging as many different women as possible, so much so you can't even remember any of their names? Yes, because this is certainly a quality I look for in a man. Oh, you wear Lynx? You fucking stud, c'mere! I certainly know I can't help myself, I smell Lynx on a man(?) and I immediately de-robe and throw myself at him, for I am a female and therefore, by the rules of Lynx, will always fall for the sweet smell of excessive teenage masturbation. Must be The Lynx Effect, eh ladies?

Perhaps I'm over-thinking it all. Perhaps they know that sex(ism) sells and therefore just keep on abusing it. Perhaps I'm just too bloody defensive for my own good.

Now, I'm not saying that I want a fluffy world of rabbits where boys and girls sit around and plait each other's hair while sharing biscuits and chocolate, I'm not saying that at all. I actually love a bit of sexist banter, what I don't like is mindless adverts such as the above which makes it seem like sexism is actually ok when in fact it's really bloody ugly. But what can you do eh? Sexism has always existed and it always will. There will always be lazy advertisers who use it to sell things. Way of the world, it won't change but that doesn't stop me being incredibly wound up by this relatively small injustice.

I guess I just hate that some idle tools make money by employing such lazy, lazy, lazy bastard advertising tactics. As my mother would say, "get a real job." Be able to actually grow a beard and wear real aftershave, then we can talk.

Arty Bullshitzu

Here's my idea for our degree show.

Whilst procrastinating I decided to watch a random documentary (The Culture Show: Tate Modern Turns 10, look it up on iPlayer, it's tasty) and was particularly inspired by a chap who talked about how, due to Tate Modern's popularity, often artwork is misunderstood by the (uneducated?) general public.

This got me thinking about our degree show. No doubt on opening night, most of the visitors will be students relatives, significant others etc that most likely, won't have a particular understanding (or real interest) in our work like we do. I assume most people will trot around, look at their child's work, go "hmm, well done love" and then move on. (Maybe I'm just cynical?) Anyway, my idea is to provide a list of things to consider whilst conducting said trot. Hopefully this would encourage people to consume the artwork rather than just chewing it for a bit and then spitting it out, figuratively speaking of course.

Here they are:

Literal Vs Obvious

Singular Vs Plural

Significance Vs Throwaway

Niche Vs Understood

Meaning Vs Visual

Style Vs Content

Edition Vs Obsession

Conformity Vs Individual

Audience Vs Idea

Message Vs Style

Quality Vs Quantity

Scale Vs Need

Understanding Vs Knowledge

Misunderstanding Vs Interpretation

Impression Vs Study

Elitist Vs Democratic

Perspective Vs Flat

Safe Vs Radical

Soul Vs Sale

Needs "tweaking" and editing, yet. Just a general scribble of ideas as of yet.

Digest

So I've pretty much finished everything for uni (hopefully I'll have some images of my XLA to show later on this week) and I kind of feel at a loose end. I don't know what to do. I get home and feel bizarre because I feel like I should be working. So, I don't know where this came from but I want to do something with my daily intake of food (or the lack of). I have absolutely no idea if anything will come of this but if I don't do something my brain will rot.

So, today I have eaten:
2 packets of crisps
1 Alpen breakfast bar
Slice of chocolate cake
1 Galaxy chocolate bar
2 Refresher ice lollies
4 single Pringles (snigger that rhymes)
Bit of cheese
1 Thai red curry
1 shit BLT sandwich

Bloody hell that's awful. Please don't judge me.

Call Me Wanker.

Hmm, wonder who I voted for...

Re:Kern

Rekerned my Truth/Happiness piece. I didn't want to at first but think it looks much better now.

Secret Panda

I've been working on my delicious XLA for a bit and thus have neglected my poor blog. Still plenty to do where XLA is concerned so have this really good video to tide you over. One of mine and Capstick's personal favourites. It's impact and affect on mainstream culture will speak for itself. Absolute tearjerker, kids.



"In the middle of making love we notice the time, we both get nervous 'cuz it's way after nine..."
Was there a better lyric ever written? I think not.

[insert anger here]

Ever have one of those days where you just hate everyone? It's not particularly something someone said or something someone did it's just that today, today you just hate everyone. You can't help it. And it's ok. It's ok. It's not a choice. You can't help but want to projectile vomit all down yourself when you hear overly positive people describe everything as "amazing" and "fantastic". You can't help but want to throw your brew over them and see if they find this event "amazing" and "fantastic" also. You can't help but want to tear somebody's throat out because they nag you like they birthed you. You can't help but "accidentally" flatten the chunky scouser who purposely keeps tredding on your toes as you try to keep goalside of her. You can't help but want to scream at the ejit who gets in the lift with you and goes down from the forth floor to the third. You can't help but want to smush your sandwich in the face of the overly greasy teenager who's displaying his manliness to us females by yelling obscenities across Tesco to his even manlier friend. You can't help but want to cry when Everton beat your boys in the ninety second minute. You can't help wanting to push someone off the sofa when they come home and put the central heating on when it's already hotter than the Sahara desert in your abode. You can't help but want to flick the ears of the asshat who pushes in front of you at the shop to demand they recount his change as you idly stand by waiting, watching your overpriced brew going cold in your hands.

But it's ok.

Breathe.

Right. So maybe it is things people say and things people do that make me hate everyone. I can't help it. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. Sometimes I do wish I were both stupid and ignorant so I wouldn't get annoyed by the slightest little things like "official" documents that use Comic Sans and "funky" clipart.

Breathe.

I love you all really.

Truth/Happiness

Back working with my OxyMoron list, wanted to develop the initial idea of a series of posters into something more visually stimulating. The coloured circles are used to represent the overlapping between the words; how hypocritical they can be. Here's what I came up with.


Also working on a series of small, snappy quotes (not always my own words, though) which I am turning into posters. This is what I have so far.


Anybody that watches Lie to Me will recognise the quote ;-)

Ragstick

(Blogger being a douche about uploading images properly so excuse it looking all odd)

Kind of obsessed with letterpress at the moment, here's a collection of images which I did last week.


Finished my embossing piece but it's really hard to get a decent image of it. Might try using the copy stand thingy-ma-jigger.